Dr. Mel
Dalgleish
coach & educator
Virtual | Toronto, ON
about me
If you're looking to build a better version of your life—one that's 💯 authentic to your queer, neurodivergent,* and/or disabled self—I'm your girl.
(Except for the girl part.)
I'm an autistic, non-binary and queer coach, parent, and partner with ADHD and C-PTSD. I'm also an educator, career development professional, disability rights advocate, and positive psychology stan.
Collecting degrees is one of my special interests, and I have an honors BA and Bachelor of Education along with an MA and PhD. I'll be certified with the International Federation of Coaches in 2024, and I have certificates and training in coaching, positive psychology, Indigenous cultural safety, project management, Lean Six Sigma, EDI, e-learning, blah blah blah. (I told you I love learning! And my cats.)
* We love and respect self-diagnosis, self-identification, and self-discovery around here.
As your coach, my job is to honour and support who you are and how your brain works—and that doesn't require a special piece of paper.
My favourite clients are neurodivergent people who are looking at their lives and going "is this it"?
It isn't.
And together, we can write a radically awesome next chapter in your story.
We might be a good fit if you are:
Eligible for OSAP-BSWD
Looking for more sustainable and supportive ways of working, living, creating, and achieving your goals
Seeking to understand who you are and what you need after discovering your neurodivergence
A disabled and/or neurodivergent leader who wants to level up your career—but not at the expense of your wellbeing
A neurodivergent and/or disabled student who is looking for support and accountability as you work toward your goals
In need of, or at the precipice of, a big change and looking for help with developing your big vision and figuring out next steps
Craving the right life for you—not the life you've been told you "should" be living—and in need of help to get there
Burnt out (including autistic and ADHD burnout) and need more sustainable ways of living and working
Raising neurodivergent and/or disabled kids (including unschooling and supporting PDAers)
Developed by Sonny Jane Wise, the Neurodiversity Affirming Practice framework is a set of principles for ethically and effectively working with and supporting neurodivergent people. (It works great for neurotypical people too!)
Neurodiversity-affirming is currently a trendy label, but not all providers will genuinely support you in understanding and being exactly who you are, without limits. I will.
The principles of neurodiversity affirming practice are:
- Intersectionality
- Respecting autonomy
- Presuming competence
- Validating differences
- Rejecting neuronormativity
- Reframing expectations
- Promoting self-advocacy
- Prioritizing lived-experience
- Nurturing positive self-identity
- Adapting systems and environments
- Honouring all forms of communication
This is a Neurodiversity Affirming Practice
Wait, what does that mean?
What does coaching cost?
College & University Students | Professionals | Organizations |
$250/month | $450/month | Contact me for more information |
Includes:
| Includes:
| I offer custom coaching packages for organizations seeking 1:1 support for their neurodivergent and/or disabled executives and staff |
Note: I can also provide term-by-term or academic-year quotes | Note: Many organizations have professional development funding that can be used for coaching | I also offer professional development talks for HR, leaders, and managers |
I also offer significantly discounted rates for First Nations, Métis, and Inuit clients and have the occasional sliding-scale spot—email for information.
Social Responsibility
April 2024 donation:
sent!
I live, work, and learn in the traditional territory of the Anishinaabeg, Wendake,
Haudenosaunee, and Mississaugas, which is also ‘Dish with One Spoon' territory. The Dish with One Spoon is a treaty between the Anishinaabe, Mississaugas, and Haudenosaunee—one that extends to all of us who live in and around Toronto—that binds us all to share this territory and protect the land.
My work toward reconciliation takes place through informed, ethical, and culturally literate coaching, learning, teaching, policy-making, advocacy, and community building. As an uninvited white settler aiming to be worthy of being a welcomed guest on these lands, I commit to: educating myself further, acting against settler colonialism, paying reparations to the peoples whose stolen land I benefit from, and land back.
10% of all profits go to Toronto Indigenous Harm Reduction and I offer substantially discounted coaching to First Nations, Métis, and Inuit people, regardless of income.
Racism, sexism, anti- trans, -queer, and -fat bias, ableism, and sanism impact our ability to succeed under capitalism.
When possible, I offer sliding-scale coaching places to people who can’t otherwise afford it.
Please contact me to inquire about open sliding-scale spots or, should none currently be available, join the waitlist.
What I’m Reading
What You Are Hiding Could Be Hurting You: Autistic Masking in Relation to Mental Health, Interpersonal Trauma, Authenticity, and Self-Esteem.
Joshua A. Evans, Elizabeth J. Krumrei-Mancuso, and Steven V. Rouse
Autism in Adulthood 2024 6:2, 229-240
This study asked 342 autistic adults (formally diagnosed and self-identified) about how autistic masking impacted their mental health, relationships, authenticity, and self-esteem.
The study results support the theory that autistic masking is, at least in part, a trauma response prompted by bad experiences with social interactions. We mask in an attempt to avoid further social stigma and keep ourselves safe.
The trauma-response theory also helps explain why autistic people very frequently have
co-diagnoses or experiernces of depression and/or anxiety: because interpersonal trauma—and masking as a symptom of it and bulwark against it—harms our mental health, our self-esteem, and our ability to connect with (or share) our authentic selves.
Until we live in a society where it’s safe to be whoever you are, however you are, it’s unlikely that we’re fully going to be able to avoid the negative impacts of masking—so long as we’re rejected or shamed for exhibiting autistic traits, our brains and bodies will unconsciously continue to mask to protect us.
But, as the authors note, studies like this are further evidence that so-called “therapies” that force or promote masking, or that shame people for their autistic traits, are harmful and should be combatted. The same goes for education and parenting practices that don’t celebrate and affirm neurodivergent kids for being exactly who they are.
The study results also suggest that working with a neurodiversity-affirming therapist or coach to learn about what masking looks like for you and experiment with safely unmasking may improve your mental health, relationships, authenticity, and self-esteem.